⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
WARNING: Spoilers and Language Ahead!
Marvel has had a long history of watering down their comic book characters to a PG-13 rating so they can attract superhero fanboys of all ages. However, when the beloved character Deadpool made his first theatrical appearance in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, it wasn't very well received. People have been begging for a true adaptation of Deadpool as the bloody, sarcastic anti-hero he is, and after years of development, it finally happened back in 2016. Now, the psychotic superhero is back in Deadpool 2.
Two years after the events of the first film, Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) has been operating as the ultimate mercenary thanks to his accelerated healing abilities, working under his Deadpool alias. When tragedy strikes his life, Wade sees a chance to redeem himself by helping X-Men members Colossus (Stefan Kapičić) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) to help control a young mutant named Firefist (Julian Dennison). However, a time traveling soldier named Cable (Josh Brolin) has also sets his sights on him, with the intention of killing. In order to complete the mission, Deadpool will have to form his own team, including the lucky mutant Domino (Zazie Beetz), to protect the kid from a dark fate.
Much like many people, I found the first movie to be great. For me, it was the fact that it didn’t act like a normal superhero movie that made it so funny. It felt like The Hangover trying to be a Marvel movie. To have something so fresh and original was a breath of fresh air back in 2016. That is exactly why I was worried for this one. To me, the first film felt like one of those “one and done” things. It was funny once, but would it really be funny a second time.
So, what did I think of it? Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised. Deadpool 2 may not be nearly as good as the first film, but it still manages to be a fun time at the movi…
Hold the phone. What the fuck are you talking about?
Uh, who is this?
You really think I’m going to sit here and let you trash my movie?
Deadpool, is that you?
No, it’s Jon Bailey from Honest Trailers. Yeah, I’m mother-fucking Deadpool.
What are you doing in my review?
Trying to stop you from asking all these questions. Also, to stop you from saying anything negative about Deadpool 2. Why the fuck do you think I’m here?
I didn’t take you for someone who cared what someone like me had to say about the film.
Says the guy who took over a month to review my movie just because he says he “can’t figure out how to write it” you self-conscious prick. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far by ignoring the shit people said about his movies. I don’t think so. You may be an incompetent nobody with a micro-penis of a fanbase, but I still have to make sure my movies don’t get hated on. You really think I’m going to let you, someone who still wears his retainer and dreams of having sad prom sex with Pearl from Steven Universe, write a bad review.
Um, I don’t wear my retainer.
Yeah, and I don’t dream of fucking cartoon characters. I’ve been through phone’s photo album, buddy.
How did you get my phone… you know what, never mind. Look, I said it was good, didn’t I? Isn’t that enough for you.
But you said it wasn’t nearly as good as the first one.
You didn’t even have a cool subtitle. Deadpool 2, really? That’s kind of bland, don’t you think? The Untitled Deadpool Sequel was much better in my opinion.
Oh, you mother-fucker. You think that just because we didn’t put some crazy subtitle it means we’re not as good. Why don’t you look at Guardians of the Galaxy. The sequel doesn’t have a subtitle, and that part of the Marvel Universe alone made a billion dollars.
Look, do you want me to say everything I liked about the movie? You’re making this review too long.
Well, it’s your own fault for allowing me into your review. But fine, go ahead.
I didn’t allow you.. whatever. Just like in the first film, Ryan Reynolds gives a great performance as the title character. He really is perfect casting for the character. I don’t know much about the character other than his sassy personality, but from what I do know, Reynolds voice and mannerisms fit the character.
OK, you’re right here, but what’s with the “title character” bullshit?
People know who you are.
Ha! Have you seen the attention spans of kids today? It’s been decreased by the amount of Vine porn they watch in the stalls of their middle school bathrooms. You have to say who he’s playing or they’ll forget who their fondling over.
Moving on. I also enjoyed the other performances, more specifically Josh Brolin as Cable. Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything else but Thanos. It was a very similar character in terms of voice and actions, but it was still a great performance.
How do you know it wasn’t Thanos playing Josh Brolin playing Cable?
I also really enjoyed the humor of this one. There were still some great meta references that lampoon the superhero genre. I am always willing to listen to a few good jokes that make fun of superheroes. That is what Deadpool is known for. Granted, they weren’t as clever as the first film, but they were still pretty funny.
Oh, don’t go throwing that “isn’t as good as the first film” shit again. Our writing staff worked really hard to lampoon the genre you piss all over everyday.
And I respect that. I’m just saying it wasn’t as good as the first time you did it.
So what, is the rest of the review going to be, “This wasn’t as good as the first one because it wasn’t as funny, the action wasn’t as good, and you felt that we played it safe.”
Well, yeah. That pretty much sums it up. I will say that this movie did a good job at showing your development as a hero.
Hey, there are two things people never call me; a virgin and a hero. You know what, I can’t let this go on anymore. How about you let me write this review for you. I think I can help you out here.
I don’t have a choice here, do I?
Nope. Let’s see, I think I’ll start with your description. I can come up with something much more accurate. Let’s go with:
Two years after becoming the badass mercenary known as the amazing Deadpool, Wade Wilson (the excruciatingly handsome Ryan Reynolds) is sent to rock bottom by a family tragedy (like the actors in The Human Centipede). He gets the chance to find his purpose when shiny Jesus and Negasonic Teenage Longest Fucking Name Ever ask him to help control a plus-size mutant with the worst name ever. When the devilishly handsome time traveler known as Cable (Thanos playing Josh Brolin) also wants to kill this kid, Deadpool will have to form the X-Force in order to protect him from a Blade Runner rip-off of a future.
I think it’s too long.
Thank you. Now, what the shit is with this “multi-paragraph format.”
Hey, a good reviewer needs to talk about one aspect per paragraph. It’s good for details.
Online readers don’t give a flying fuck about details. I’ll just sum up your opinion in one paragraph. How about this:
Going into Deadpool 2, I thought it was going to be the epic masterpiece of the decade just like the last one, and I was right. This hilarious, heart-warming, and thoroughly sensual family adventure has change the way I look at movies. Believe me when I say that the insanely suckable Deadpool has turned me gay in an instant, and he will live in my VERY wet dreams for the rest of my life. I mean it when I say that this movie is better than 12 Years a Slave, The Shape of Water, and any other Best Picture-winning shit they call art. Deadpool 2 should win everything at the Oscars in 2019, and if it doesn’t, you can bet I’ll light myself on fire. I even promise to post a video on YouTube of me doing that if it doesn’t.
You know very well that’s not what I thought.
Whatever, asshat. Just write your conclusion. I have to get back to developing Deadpool 3.
Oh, can I give you some ideas? I have one about you messing up timelines with Cable’s time travel device and you face off against the female version of yourself: Gwenpool.
Are you serious? Two hours of Cable fucking me in the ass with his turbo dick is more entertaining than that. This is why your generation will never make it in the world of movies. Though I do give my support to the guys who want to remake The Last Jedi. They got some serious balls that I find quite arousing.
Anyway, Deadpool 2 may not be as great as the first movie, but it’s still a good time. It still has decent meta references that nicely spoof the long running genre, and Ryan Reynolds’s usual charm helps, too. Like I said, I was expecting it to not be as good, and while I was kind of expecting it to be bad, I was happy that it was better than I thought. I’ll still see Deadpool 3 if they ever make it, because there may be some potential left in this side of the X-Men Universe.
You bet you flat ass, there is. You think we’re going to end this after two movies. That joke about “stopping after two” in the trailers was taken out because we would never deny a third one. I would prepare you ass for the next phase in the Dead-verse.
The Dead-verse?
That’s right, even more successful than Sony. Peace out, fuckers!
WARNING: Spoilers and Language Ahead!
Marvel has had a long history of watering down their comic book characters to a PG-13 rating so they can attract superhero fanboys of all ages. However, when the beloved character Deadpool made his first theatrical appearance in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, it wasn't very well received. People have been begging for a true adaptation of Deadpool as the bloody, sarcastic anti-hero he is, and after years of development, it finally happened back in 2016. Now, the psychotic superhero is back in Deadpool 2.
Two years after the events of the first film, Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) has been operating as the ultimate mercenary thanks to his accelerated healing abilities, working under his Deadpool alias. When tragedy strikes his life, Wade sees a chance to redeem himself by helping X-Men members Colossus (Stefan Kapičić) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) to help control a young mutant named Firefist (Julian Dennison). However, a time traveling soldier named Cable (Josh Brolin) has also sets his sights on him, with the intention of killing. In order to complete the mission, Deadpool will have to form his own team, including the lucky mutant Domino (Zazie Beetz), to protect the kid from a dark fate.
Much like many people, I found the first movie to be great. For me, it was the fact that it didn’t act like a normal superhero movie that made it so funny. It felt like The Hangover trying to be a Marvel movie. To have something so fresh and original was a breath of fresh air back in 2016. That is exactly why I was worried for this one. To me, the first film felt like one of those “one and done” things. It was funny once, but would it really be funny a second time.
So, what did I think of it? Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised. Deadpool 2 may not be nearly as good as the first film, but it still manages to be a fun time at the movi…
Hold the phone. What the fuck are you talking about?
Uh, who is this?
You really think I’m going to sit here and let you trash my movie?
Deadpool, is that you?
No, it’s Jon Bailey from Honest Trailers. Yeah, I’m mother-fucking Deadpool.
What are you doing in my review?
Trying to stop you from asking all these questions. Also, to stop you from saying anything negative about Deadpool 2. Why the fuck do you think I’m here?
I didn’t take you for someone who cared what someone like me had to say about the film.
Says the guy who took over a month to review my movie just because he says he “can’t figure out how to write it” you self-conscious prick. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far by ignoring the shit people said about his movies. I don’t think so. You may be an incompetent nobody with a micro-penis of a fanbase, but I still have to make sure my movies don’t get hated on. You really think I’m going to let you, someone who still wears his retainer and dreams of having sad prom sex with Pearl from Steven Universe, write a bad review.
Um, I don’t wear my retainer.
Yeah, and I don’t dream of fucking cartoon characters. I’ve been through phone’s photo album, buddy.
How did you get my phone… you know what, never mind. Look, I said it was good, didn’t I? Isn’t that enough for you.
But you said it wasn’t nearly as good as the first one.
You didn’t even have a cool subtitle. Deadpool 2, really? That’s kind of bland, don’t you think? The Untitled Deadpool Sequel was much better in my opinion.
Oh, you mother-fucker. You think that just because we didn’t put some crazy subtitle it means we’re not as good. Why don’t you look at Guardians of the Galaxy. The sequel doesn’t have a subtitle, and that part of the Marvel Universe alone made a billion dollars.
Look, do you want me to say everything I liked about the movie? You’re making this review too long.
Well, it’s your own fault for allowing me into your review. But fine, go ahead.
I didn’t allow you.. whatever. Just like in the first film, Ryan Reynolds gives a great performance as the title character. He really is perfect casting for the character. I don’t know much about the character other than his sassy personality, but from what I do know, Reynolds voice and mannerisms fit the character.
OK, you’re right here, but what’s with the “title character” bullshit?
People know who you are.
Ha! Have you seen the attention spans of kids today? It’s been decreased by the amount of Vine porn they watch in the stalls of their middle school bathrooms. You have to say who he’s playing or they’ll forget who their fondling over.
Moving on. I also enjoyed the other performances, more specifically Josh Brolin as Cable. Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything else but Thanos. It was a very similar character in terms of voice and actions, but it was still a great performance.
How do you know it wasn’t Thanos playing Josh Brolin playing Cable?
I also really enjoyed the humor of this one. There were still some great meta references that lampoon the superhero genre. I am always willing to listen to a few good jokes that make fun of superheroes. That is what Deadpool is known for. Granted, they weren’t as clever as the first film, but they were still pretty funny.
Oh, don’t go throwing that “isn’t as good as the first film” shit again. Our writing staff worked really hard to lampoon the genre you piss all over everyday.
And I respect that. I’m just saying it wasn’t as good as the first time you did it.
So what, is the rest of the review going to be, “This wasn’t as good as the first one because it wasn’t as funny, the action wasn’t as good, and you felt that we played it safe.”
Well, yeah. That pretty much sums it up. I will say that this movie did a good job at showing your development as a hero.
Hey, there are two things people never call me; a virgin and a hero. You know what, I can’t let this go on anymore. How about you let me write this review for you. I think I can help you out here.
I don’t have a choice here, do I?
Nope. Let’s see, I think I’ll start with your description. I can come up with something much more accurate. Let’s go with:
Two years after becoming the badass mercenary known as the amazing Deadpool, Wade Wilson (the excruciatingly handsome Ryan Reynolds) is sent to rock bottom by a family tragedy (like the actors in The Human Centipede). He gets the chance to find his purpose when shiny Jesus and Negasonic Teenage Longest Fucking Name Ever ask him to help control a plus-size mutant with the worst name ever. When the devilishly handsome time traveler known as Cable (Thanos playing Josh Brolin) also wants to kill this kid, Deadpool will have to form the X-Force in order to protect him from a Blade Runner rip-off of a future.
I think it’s too long.
Thank you. Now, what the shit is with this “multi-paragraph format.”
Hey, a good reviewer needs to talk about one aspect per paragraph. It’s good for details.
Online readers don’t give a flying fuck about details. I’ll just sum up your opinion in one paragraph. How about this:
Going into Deadpool 2, I thought it was going to be the epic masterpiece of the decade just like the last one, and I was right. This hilarious, heart-warming, and thoroughly sensual family adventure has change the way I look at movies. Believe me when I say that the insanely suckable Deadpool has turned me gay in an instant, and he will live in my VERY wet dreams for the rest of my life. I mean it when I say that this movie is better than 12 Years a Slave, The Shape of Water, and any other Best Picture-winning shit they call art. Deadpool 2 should win everything at the Oscars in 2019, and if it doesn’t, you can bet I’ll light myself on fire. I even promise to post a video on YouTube of me doing that if it doesn’t.
You know very well that’s not what I thought.
Whatever, asshat. Just write your conclusion. I have to get back to developing Deadpool 3.
Oh, can I give you some ideas? I have one about you messing up timelines with Cable’s time travel device and you face off against the female version of yourself: Gwenpool.
Are you serious? Two hours of Cable fucking me in the ass with his turbo dick is more entertaining than that. This is why your generation will never make it in the world of movies. Though I do give my support to the guys who want to remake The Last Jedi. They got some serious balls that I find quite arousing.
Anyway, Deadpool 2 may not be as great as the first movie, but it’s still a good time. It still has decent meta references that nicely spoof the long running genre, and Ryan Reynolds’s usual charm helps, too. Like I said, I was expecting it to not be as good, and while I was kind of expecting it to be bad, I was happy that it was better than I thought. I’ll still see Deadpool 3 if they ever make it, because there may be some potential left in this side of the X-Men Universe.
You bet you flat ass, there is. You think we’re going to end this after two movies. That joke about “stopping after two” in the trailers was taken out because we would never deny a third one. I would prepare you ass for the next phase in the Dead-verse.
The Dead-verse?
That’s right, even more successful than Sony. Peace out, fuckers!